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6月27日 Been BUSY!I've been busier than a one-armed paper hanger these past few days. Sheesh! My niece has been visiting with her boys so I spent a little time with them at my brother's house. During the week my nieces gave me "projects." At their requests I made "hobo purses" for each of them and a maternity shirt for my nephew's wife who is springin' heavy (just six more weeks if she's on time!). Add that to my important business of College World Series and Astros games and I haven't had time to wipe my own butt!
My youngest niece (early 30s) and my nephew's wife (mid 20s) are both preggers with their first babies. Both are having girls. My oldest niece (mid 30s) and youngest nephew (22) both have boys so we're excited to add some girls to the mix. My brother's church people hosted a "double shower" for the pregnant nieces this past weekend. They got lots of loot. LOTS of pink. The decorations reminded me of "Steel Magnolias" and the wedding decorated in "blush and bashful" (PINK). Everything was verrrry Pepto-Bismolish, but lovely since I like pink. The good Christian women of Solid Rock non-denominational semi-pentecostal church fixed lunch and it was good with stuff fresh outta the garden. Cantaloupe, watermelon, tomatoes, butter beans, green beans, onions, fried chicken, brisket, and rolls. And the biggest pot of chicken-n-dumplins I've ever seen! Dee-lish. I wonder if heathen women can cook or if that's a gift from God? I don't know, but these particular women know their way around a stove.
The weather here has been so awesome! Very little humidity, temps below normal - it was kinda like a fall morning the past coupla days. Even in the heat of the day it hasn't gotten over 90. It's bee-yoo-ti-ful.
Because of the heat of the previous few weeks I've been worried about Timber. He hasn't been eating very good. Last night I boiled some hamburger meat and poured the juice over his Iams. He ate. And ate. And ate. His tum-tum was hard as a rock when he came to bed. Around 2:30 this morning he woke me up with his back legs crossed. He never came back and scratched on the door to come in as it was so pleasant outside last night. I didn't know how to act with a whole bed to myself! Tonight he's looking at me like I should be boiling some hamburger or something.
Didn't have to cook tonight - my brother and sister-in-law treated me to Olive Garden since I ran the relay to get my sister-in-law from Dallas back t' home. I'm full as a tick. I had two monster plates of salad and ended up bringing half my noodles home with me, so I don't have to cook tomorrow night, either! Sweet.
My niece is on her way to Albuquerque, their new home. They stopped in Amarillo at the Big Tex Restaurant, the place that sells the humongous steaks. She ordered rattlesnake and mountain oysters for her boys to taste. For anyone who is unfamiliar with "mountain oysters," those are bull testicles. When fried, they taste like chicken but they're mushier. They're good. So what does my 11 year old nephew tell her later? "*burp* MOM, I'm burpin' BALLS!" Hahahahahhaha. Rattlesnake tastes like chicken with the consistency of mahi-mahi (fish). Some people call sheep balls "mountain oysters" also but those are too chewy for my taste. (Is this more of my obsession with all things "ball"?)
We used to live next door to people who raised cattle for a living. The cattle were grazed on land elsewhere but the cattle were brought to the neighbor's house for processing on their way to pasture. They gave them shots, de-horned if necessary, and castrated the boys. Then they turned them out to pasture to get fat so they could sell them for slaughter. Anyway, the lady next door, the mom, was a prim and proper little thang and wouldn't cook the mountain oysters. Wouldn't let them in her house! Every once in a while one of the sons would bring a big ol' bucket of balls to my mom to cook for him. He'd clean them and she would fry up a huge platter of mountain oysters. Mm-mmm-mmmm. That was some good eatin'. Well, once you got past WHAT you're eatin'. One night a teenage boy was there visiting and was offered a mountain oyster. He put one on his plate and then asked what it was. My dad said, "Take a bite." So he did, then asked again what he was eating. My dad "gave him a hint" and said something to the effect that he was eating what would have been involved in having calves. The kid took a big gulp, got kinda green around the gills, looked at my dad with watering eyes, and said, "C-cow p-pussy?" Oh, my LORD we laughed til we cried!!!! That poor kid.
I gotta go to bed. I am tuh-ired. Y'all have a great HUMP day. Hahaha. 6月21日 Stuff....The men's basketball coach asked Chuck and me to decide on lunch, order it, pick it up, and pay for it with his credit card. Cool. I asked, "Do you want to go cheap or good?" His reply? "How lucky I am to have both with you." We held hands, I curtsied and thanked him for the compliment.
Then we giggled about it being "hump day" and wondered who on earth came up with that. We all agreed that we didn't care if it's Wednesday or not but we're all in for the humping.
The sacker kid at the grocery store carried my milk & eggs to the car for me today. He asked me how I was doin', to which I replied I was fine. "And how are you?" I countered. As it was about 98 degrees and very humid, the sweaty teen said, "I'm HOT." I looked at him and said, "Yeah, but how's your temperature?" It took him a minute but then he caught it and broke out in a big grin. We were both still grinning as I pulled away.
Both bosses and several coaches will be participating in the United Way "Day of Caring" on Friday. I think they're gonna do some painting at the YMCA. I have to stay in the office because I obviously DON'T care. I've been giving Chuck fits telling him he doesn't care, either, he's just sucking up to the bosses.
I had a root canal yesterday. The dentist was giving me a big-ass mama jama deadening shot. As he's holding my jaw open he says, "You are biting the tar outta my thumb." Ha! I didn't even know I was clamping down! After he let go (and I let go) I told him, "Doc, note to self - when you jam a needle into somebody's gums you might get the end o' your thumb bit off." "Fair enough" he said. My mouth is sore today so I may have won that battle but the dentist won the war. Man! Ouch! It took two hours to get the root canal. The way I figure it, though, he was getting over $600 an hour. Damn I wish I had been born with the ambition gene!
My oldest niece and her two boys are visiting my brother and sister-in-law. I always thought my brother's kids were the cutest, smartest, funniest, most perfect kids there could ever be. My niece's kids, though, are taking cute to a whole new level. They're so smart! Not many 11 and 6 year olds are actually "interesting" to talk to, but these are. What? I'm partial? No way - they're just really that awesome.
Boys basketball camp is happenin' in the gym this week. Little boys in the morning, high school in the afternoon. The little ones are so cute. You can tell by the way they move that, in their minds, they are really good. The disappointment on their faces when they miss a basket or have a turnover is so evident. They actually act surprised because they were so sure in their minds that it was gonna go in just like an NBA player's would.
Speaking of the NBA.... I'm disappointed for the Mavs. They went down fighting but I was pretty sure they were "done" after losing in overtime in Game 5. They left everything they had on the floor that night. They fought hard in Game 6 but they were obviously outta snuff. [Translation: they were real tired.] How stupid was Gary Payton? I was embarrassed for him and disgusted by him all at the same time when he was mouthing off to the referee and caused a turnover for his team that could have changed the momentum of the game and caused them to lose. Lucky for him the Mavs weren't able to convert. He needs to retire. He has his ring now, blah blah blah, so he needs to go on to the house. Don't EVER take your eye off the ball, dude, especially in the finals. Sheesh.
I'm glad I'm not a soldier. I would be confused. Orders: Go to Iraq. Kill the insurgents. Problem: Insurgents and regular ol' Iraqis look just alike, sound just alike, live in the same places. Unable to determine where bullets are coming from as it is so random. Result: Soldiers being arrested for murder. Can ANYBODY explain this to me where I can understand it? If this kind of bullshit is gonna start happening, just bring my guys home. Let's send a bunch of rednecks over there on a flat-bed trailer with tire tools and chains and finish this shit once and for all.
This is a rambly post but I'll blame it on the pain killers for my violated gums/tooth.
Later.
6月15日 Retirement issuesAs I have mentioned over and over and over, I will be retiring 12/31/07. That computes to one year, six months, and fifteen days from now. So my question is....how long do I have to wait before I can be the lame duck? You know, the person who knows they're leaving so they stop being real productive at work. I know it's way too early now but is there a time when you can officially become as useless as tits on a boar hog? I've worked with some folks that started out that way who were just as useless on their last day as they were their first. I figure I'll get things going for the fall '07 semester and then coast to December. Everytime I mention retirement my co-workers say, "Oh, you won't really retire. You can't leave us." Ha! Don't stand in the doorway on my last day, people, or you will get run over. I really like my workplace. I like my job. I like my coworkers. But I realllly like sleeping late and being on my own schedule. My job is definitely not my life. I guess, to me, it's a job - not a career. I'm loyal to my place of work, very loyal to my supervisor, but I know that the person who takes my place will do well and all the people who say the place will fall apart without me will get along just fine. I'm a realist. I took a lady's place that was very respected and loved and they said the same stuff when she left. HOWEVER, just for meanness and so people really will think I had it goin' on, I think I'll hide stuff so they have to call me. "I could have sworn the scorebooks were in the cabinet but they're not there." "Uh! Check the closet." "Ohhhh, you're so smart and wonderful!" "I know." For at least a month people will think I'm awesome because I'm the only one who knows where things are. Ha! If I get to train my replacement, I'll train her incorrectly. Everyone will think she's such a loser. When they talk to me about her I'll tell them I TRIED to teach her but she just couldn't grasp anything. They'll beg me to come back but I'll say, "Nah, y'all will be just fine." I'll discard some important stuff and then say the new girl lost them. The memory of me will become so revered. They'll probably nominate me for the Hall of Fame. Hahahahaha!
Some updates:
If you don't hear from me before, have a happy Father's Day. And pray for rain for East Texas - we're chokin' on the dust and fearin' for fires...
6月12日 Visit from a RacistI had an unbelievable conversation (for 2006) with a lady - no, scratch that - woman from Farmerville, Louisiana today. Her son was trying out for the baseball team. I noticed they were all wearing "Ruston" shirts and since my son attended Louisiana Tech, I struck up a conversation. When she told me she lived closer to Farmerville than Ruston, I asked "Isn't that where Karl Malone grew up?" Well, it isn't but she knows him. She told me she saw him just the other day riding a bicycle. She knew right away it was him because "he's the tallest n*gger in town." Well, that certainly cleared that up now, didn't it? I felt the look on my face but I don't know how to explain it. Is there a word for shocked/surprised/astonished/disgusted/pissed off? My surprise wasn't so much that she said it but the absolutely natural way it rolled off her tongue. Sky's blue, it's Monday, tallest n*gger in town. She continued to talk because she didn't know I had already tuned her out. Then, though, I decided I would try to work the name of every black person I know into the conversation just to see her reaction. This heifer knew everybody in northern Louisiana. What was even more weird is that I'm sitting there at my desk with pictures of my son and grandsons (black) by my computer, a former athlete's picture on the wall behind my desk (black), my sisters kids (Puerto Rican) taped to the monitor, my nieces little boys (Mexican) on the wall behind me, and a friend's kid (black) on my desk. The only "crackers" I have pix of are my brother's. The pictures alone should have given her a hint that I might not be a card-carrying member of the KKK. So I think to myself, okay, I'm really gonna throw her for a loop. "Do you remember when my son, er, 'this person' played at LaTech?" (and held up his picture) That finally got her attention. I went into "mama talk" and said, "I can't believe you don't remember him as he is the best player they ever had. Not to mention what a sweetheart he is. You'd remember him if you met him because my baby is the sweetest, most loving young man you would ever meet." I laid it on THICK. I'm surprised all the sugar in my voice didn't draw flies. No denying the look on her face. She looked like she ate some sh*t and then bit into a green persimmon. (Note: green persimmons are very very bitter and will draw your mouth up like you put alum on your tongue. Nasty stuff.) So we parted ways hating each other in a Southern woman kinda way. Smiles pasted on: "Well, you have a nice day now." "You, tooooo." And in our heads? "You bigoted bitch" and "N*gger lover."
I heard her explaining to her son's girlfriend a bit later that the reason there weren't many whites in the pictures of the championship teams in the gym is because "the n*ggers push them out and the whites don't get a chance. And that damned NAACP has made it so everybody's 'skeered' to tell them n*ggers they can't play 'cause they'll get sued!" One thing I've learned about coaches - they may be racially prejudiced or they may be assholes, but nine times out of ten they're gonna put the best athletes on their team no matter the color. What's more important than racial equality in sports? WINNING. Ha!! Duh!?
It's kinda weird to think that I'm planning a trip the first of next month to visit this lovely part of Louisiana. I'm going to spend a coupla days with my son. He got home from Europe this past week where he plays professional basketball. If I never blog again after early July you might send the authorities to search the bayous of northern Louisiana because I may be alligator food if it's discovered that I'm staying with "n*ggers." There's prejudice where I live in Texas, but not like that. At least, I haven't seen that kind of hatred, and I know lots of bigots. Ha! I think there's more racial prejudice south of where I live, but that country is kinda like what you saw in the movie "Deliverance." Prejudice is verrrrry scary. Not for me but for my grandbabies.
I hope that bitch's son didn't make the team. Maybe I'll talk to coach. I have my own brand of affirmative action....
6月10日 More random stuff...Yesterday I was driving down the street toward home when I passed a house where someone was layin' in their yard verrrry still. When I looked in the rearview mirror the person was still layin' there. I u-turned and went back to check - I'd hate it if an elderly person had fallen or if someone had had a heart attack (it was verrry hot here yesterday). Just as I get turned around and headed back, a kid jumped up. On closer inspection I saw a slip-n-slide on the ground; the kid musta been layin' in a stream of cool water. Grrr. I'm glad all was well but I wasted my time. I probably had a feather in my crown until I cussed the kid in my head for lookin' like someone in trouble.
I met my brother in a little town between my house and his, gave my niece to him. He then met my sister in a little town between his house and her's and swapped my niece for her brother (nephew). My family does more relaying than anyone I know. One weekend I picked up my sister-in-law in the town between here and their house, drove her up to a little town between here and Dallas (where some of her kids are) and then her daughter (another of my nieces) picked her up and took her to Dallas to visit for awhile. It's kinda funny. We've been doing this sort of thing for years. "So and so wants to come stay with you a few days." "Okay, can y'all meet me halfway?" My oldest niece is pushin' hard on forty so we've been doing relays at least that long, maybe longer.
Chuck (T.I.T.S.) creeped me out on Friday. We have the gym set up for an event, including the P.A.. I went to the toilet and when I came out the gym lights were off and Chuck was talking to me over the PA but using his demonic voice. It's a creepy voice anyway but amplified a kajillion times it was downright scary. I just hope nobody else was in the gym because they would have heard this demonic voice asking, "MizAngie, did everything come out allll rightttt, bwaa-haa-haa?" Niiice.
Before I relayed my niece to my brother, we went for a manicure. She's 14 and verrrrry girly so I thought this would be a fun thing. Instead of going to my usual pedicure place, I opted for a cheaper shop. I tell PingPong (what is it with all these Vietnamese nail people?) we both want French tips and could I please go ahead and write my check so I wouldn't mess up my nails? She says in very broken English, "Ah, yes. Manicuya one-hunna dolla." WOW. VERRRRY broken English. "I'm sorry, how much did you say?" "Manicuya ONE-HUNNA DOLLA." Then I looked into her face and she was grinning. PingPong GOT ME. So, thousands of comedians out of work and I get a nail lady who wants to try and be funny. Sheesh. Know what's realllllly funny, PingPong? No TIP - vellly funny, huh? Hahahahha. By the way, I hate the French tips. Looks like I dipped the ends of my fingernails in white paint, which, sh*t, I guess I kinda did. I painted over them this morning with a sheer pink which toned down the white and looks much better. It's amazing how many women get manicures, fake nails, etc. I thought only pampered, financially well-off women did things like manicures, pedicures, regular hair appointments, etc. I really need to get out more. A friend told me one time that I could get manicures and pedicures really cheap at "the beauty college." So I went there and waiting amongst the dozen or so other people (all whom had at least one whiny kid with them) for a cheap mani/pedi. The manicure was okay but the pedicure was a lot lacking. It was basically a Dr. Scholl's foot soaker and then a girl trimming my nails and painting my toenails, all the time talking about how she didn't understand why she had to do people's nasty feet when all she intended to do upon graduation was hair. Believe me, it's worth it to pay a few more dollars for the vibrating chair with the foot whirlpool and KaChing who "roves to make toes pletty."
Went to the Farmer's Market this morning where I got home grown tomatoes, bell peppers, squash, cream peas, new potatoes, and onions. Mmmmm. Lunch tomorrow will be these things with fried pork chops and corn bread. I think my friend is bringing me a watermelon from his garden so that will be good for dessert. Yummy yummy, good for the tummy!!
{yawn} I think it's naptime for me and Timber. Oh! Update on Timber (my dog). The twins are slowly but surely shriveling up following the neuter but Timber doesn't act like it bothers him a bit.
On a serious note, a young black man somewhere up north (I forget which city but it's not really important) was unable to participate [in person] in his high school graduation due to threats from a local gang. This is very frustrating. We talk about how many young black men will end up in prison, don't finish school, are deadbeat dads, etc, and we have a guy who is doing all he can to get himself above all the stereotypes he faces everyday, and he's not allowed to bask in the glory all his hard work has earned him. Authorities said he was not permitted to be there for his own safety and that of everyone else at graduation. I hope he can keep his eye on the prize. I hope he doesn't get tired of knocking down walls when it seems they keep getting built higher and stronger. Someone should have found a way for him to participate. Have the graduation indoors instead of outdoors and have metal detectors, put him in something like the Pope-mobile. SOMETHING. We can send a man into space but we can't get one hard-working kid to his graduation? Puh-leaze. Hang in there, Kid. I'm on your side.
6月6日 Helluva day ('scuse the pun)Interesting day. I'm hoping 06/06/06 turns out to be as big a bust as that whole millenium thing turned out to be. I have another hour and a half for The Rapture and Armageddon so I don't want to get cocky yet.
It was definitely hot as hell today. As my friend said, "It's hotter than two rats f*cking in a wool sock." Ha! That was a new one on ME. Worse than hot it was humid. There's nothing like taking nearly an hour to fix yer hair and then walk outside and within two minutes the part that was supposed to be smooth is curly and frizzed, and the part that was supposed to have curl is straight and frizzy. Any makeup applied slides off onto your collar. The starched and ironed shirt reverts to its wrinkled state and feels weird. The body doesn't really sweat, it just gets clammy. BLECH. It's ponytail weather for sure. There's the "bob", the "shag", the "chili bowl" haircuts, and then there's the "why bother" for this kind of weather.
I had a standoff with Timber at the back door tonight. He had another damn dead bird he wanted to bring in for me. "Drop it." Blank look, wiggling body (his, not mine). "DROP IT." Dropped it, I started opening the door, he picks it back up. "DROP IT." He finally caught on and left the bird on the bottom step. As my girl Scarlet [Gone with the Wind] would say, "I'll worry about that tomorrow."
My niece is here for tennis camp this week. I went to the courts to pick her up at 5:00 and she wasn't there. I went to the dorm where the other kids are staying and she wasn't there. How was I going to explain to my sister that I lost her 14-yr old daughter? Sh*t. All these years, all these nieces and nephews, and I had never lost one. In a cross between aggravation and panic I went back to my office and there she was. Whew.
We went to a movie. The Break Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Good movie. I decided, however, that I either need to go to more movies or shouldn't go at all. In a 250 seat theater there were about 50 of us there to see the movie. A group of 6 teenagers came in and out of allllll those empty seats they sat right behind us. They were quiet, tho, to my surprise. Just as the movie started a couple came in with a damn baby. It cried a couple of times but not for long. I didn't think infants were allowed in theaters anymore! No cellphones today - shock shock. I'm used to watching tv alone so I like it quiet when I'm watching a movie - or anything else except sporting events. We didn't get anything at the concession stand as I didn't want to get a second mortgage on my house to be able to afford a Coke and popcorn. My GOSH the concessions are expensive!! They had a helluva deal, tho. You could buy a giant tub of popcorn for $12 and get all the refills you wanted. Everybody in the theater coulda eaten out of that tub and I wouldn't have needed a refill. One good thing, tho - I could have recycled the tub as a laundry basket. Sheesh.
Better day tomorrow, I hope!!
6月3日 Update on Timber...I am pleased to report that Timber is doing very well, sans nuts. I only had to give him one pain killer and may not have even needed that one but it made ME feel better to give him one. (Kinda like when your mother was cold so made you put on a sweater.) Last night I woke up with Timber standing over me in the bed loudly smacking his "lips" together (which means he needs to go outside). I figure he couldn't wake me so he got right in my face. After he tended to his business and came back in he got in the bed and curled around my back and snuggled. He's such a sweet puppy. Although it was sweet it doesn't make for real comfy sleeping for me. He'll put his nose in my neck or beside my ear and breath really loud and it tickles. Or he'll push the pillow out from under my head so he can put his head on my arm. He's very persistent when he wants to be petted. He finally moved to the end of the bed (his usual place to sleep) so I rolled over to give him room. He had all of his toys in the bed! I rolled over a big ol' bone - ouch. The other night I got the crap scared outta me when I moved my foot and knocked that bone off the bed which made a very loud sound when it hit the floor. Then he had to jump down to get the bone so a minor incident lost me about fifteen minutes of sleep with all the moving around. Ugh. Another night I rolled over a big rope that has a knot on each end. I pulled the rope out from under my hip and tossed it off the bed. Big mistake! Timber thought I wanted to play midnight-fetch and he soared off the end of the bed, got the rope, and came back wiggling all over in glee. When I first got Timber I had an old bulldog who was definitely the boss of the house. Champy was old and the bed was tall so I had to help Champ into bed at night. As a result, Timber thinks that he has to have help, too. Any other time Timber will jump onto the bed like it's nothin' but if I say, "Let's go night-night," I have to "help" the big lug onto the bed. He'll stand there whining with his front feet on the bed until I reach over and touch him; only then will he bring his back legs up and lay down. Crazy dog. 6月1日 Random ramblings...My friend made an interesting observation today. She pointed out that I have stressed over my dog's neutering when there are several human (supposedly) men whom I would enjoy seeing the same thing done to, and done with a rusty dull knife. Possibly would even enjoy performing the neuter myself on these guys. I must commend her on making such a true observation!
Okay, three crappy things have happened involving NBA players' spouses/family and drunk, stupid fans over the past coupla years. So why don't the teams provide better security for the families/friends of the players and coaches? I mean, put them in their own section with a guard for heaven's sake. With tickets costing a bazillion dollars they surely can afford an extra security guy or two. I also think that if family members can't take hearing crap about their peeps then perhaps they should stay home and watch the game on tv. Can you imagine if referee's wives got in a fight everytime somebody criticized a call? People paying a week's salary (or more) on a game ticket probably feel like they can take a jab or two in the heat of battle. "I am rubber, you are glue. Nastiness bounces off me and sticks to you!" Na-na-na-na-boo-boo.
The laaaaaast high school graduation of the year will be held in my gym this weekend. There have been four or five so far. Ugh. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard "Pomp and Circumstance" I'd be a millionaire. The worst? When one of the seniors sings the class song. It's always a popular (at the time) song and it's usually someone who is a mediocre singer. Add nerves and emotion and it most likely will eff-up a mediocre singer. Double-Ugh. The only good one I've heard is when Miranda Lambert graduated a couple of years ago and sang at her ceremony. That was the year before she appeared on "Nashville Star" and then released her successful "Kerosene" cd. She was gooood. No matter which school or what its size the kids always act just the same every year. Many of the kids come back and attend the college where I work. It's interesting to see some of them change from being the big fish in a little pond to a little fish in a big pond.
My niece is coming to spend a week with me and attend tennis camp. Last year she brought two friends and they never talked to me. They were, like, thirteen. Ha! This year I think she's coming by herself and I'm looking forward to that. Although I wouldn't mind if someone came with her. "Like, WHATEVER."
TGIF tomorrow. Woo-hoo!! I loves me a Friday and a weekend.
Later.... |
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