I could adjust to all of the changes msn made except the one allowing my comments on other spaces to be viewed on my home page. If I had wanted a facebook page I would have made one... I hope y'all will stop on by my new digs sometime and bookmark it for regular visits...

 

 

 

I saw Paula Deen on a show the other day talkin' about how you shouldn't waste anything. For instance, she was gonna boil her turkey carcass to make lovely stock for soups. Tonight I looked at the turkey breast and just couldn't bring myself to have one more turkey sandwich for supper. However, growing up with parents who lived through the Great Depression I also have issues with wasting things. (Which also explains why I sit around in the dark a lot and get antsy if guests use lots of toilet paper.) So - you got it - I decided to boil that sucker down for stock and then tomorrow night I would fix dumplins or noodles to go in it. Except that I started reading blogs and let the darn thing burn up on the stove. Shoot! Now all I'll manage is to scrape some meat off the bone to give to Timber. My house, once steeped in the apple cinnamon smell of a Yankee candle, now wreaks of burned pan. The pan that's probably ruined. I swear - sometimes I don't have the sense to pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel! I'm so pissed I could mad all over.

 

This was a typical Monday after a 4.5 day weekend. Bleah. Hectic. Tons of mail. I sent Jared on an errand across campus and while he was gone forgot he was even at work today. In my defense, he was gone a long time! He came in and I said, "Well, hello!" before it dawned on me that he HAD been there but wasn't in the office, so I said, "Wait! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" To which he replied, "MizAngie, you sent me on an errand, remember?" Well, I didn't at first but it all started coming back to me so I laughed and said, "Of course I remember...silly!" But really I was thinking to myself, "Holy hell! I need to pull my head outta my arse!" I have a friend who worries herself to pieces when she forgets something. She's convinced she's getting alzheimer's. I keep telling her it's because she tries to do too much but she still worries. She really does believe that she killed off so many brain cells back in the 70s that it's comin' back to bite her on the butt. Ha! I suggested she get her address tattooed on her butt in case she gets lost but she didn't go for that.

 

All the visiting dogs went home yesterday and Timber and I slept like logs alone in our own bed last night. Nellie's owner promised he would take care of her. I think he was ashamed of himself for letting the dog get so skinny and stinky-breathed. I still may end up with her in a few weeks if he realizes he really can't maintain her, but for now Timber and I are livin' it up.

 

We have a basketball player from New Orleans. There are only a few people who can understand him when he talks. If you've never talked to anyone from New Orleans then you don't know what I'm talkin' about but - trust me - it's different. It's southern, cajun, ebonics, and something no other part of the country has all rolled into one. The other day a friend was in my office when Byron came by for his daily hug. He comes in smilin' real big (he's a good-looking young man), puts his arms around me while saying, "Heh MizAaaaaaan. Hayadoonday? Yoodoongoo?" To which I replied, "Hey, Byron. I'm doin' good." I kissed him on the cheek and he went on about his business. My friend stared blankly at me and said, "Did you really understand him?" Me, "Yes. He said Hey MizAngie. How ya doing today? You doing good?" It's hilarious. And you should hear him when he gets excited. Ha!

 

Addie and I went to Santaland last Friday night with her parents. It was GREAT. Santaland is a drive-thru light display. It was started by a family to make a little extra money and now they make enough between Thanskgiving and New Year's to support them in high-style all the rest of the year. My favorite thing is a tunnel of twinkling Christmas lights that you drive through. The lights reflect off the car and our eyes and, well, I love it. This year they synced some tree lights to music played on a radio station so there were two rows of huge light-trees that appeared to be dancing. Addie pointed out to us that the trees were dancing. She's two. The couple who opened the light display lost a son when he was 18. Several of their friends and acquaintances had also lost children. Part of the light display features little characiture figures made of wood painted to represent these deceased children. It sounds a little creepy but if you don't know the story all you see are little angels - a baseball player, a fisherman, a football player, etc. I always get a little choked up in this section because I knew several of the kids represented and/or their parents. Over the years the display has grown from Elfland and Santaland to include Texas Christmas displays and bible scenes. They've built scenes from the bible tracking events in Jesus' life. The nativity, Last Supper, Mary Magdalene at the well, Jesus walking on water (there's a pond), Jesus carrying the cross, Jesus' tomb with the stone rolled away from the entrance. It's a full-blown display of Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection. No need to worry about political correctness or offending anyone as it's a Christmas display smack dab in the middle of the East Texas Bible Belt. I like it - we go every year. However, the Jesus figure walking on water is a tad bit creepy looking the first time you see it. There's a spotlight on it, he's realistic looking, and the first reaction is always, "Whoa! Dude on the pond!" Anyway, it had been raining. As we're coming over a slight hill someone mentions that we're glad the dirt road is solid and not slick from the rain or else we might slide off into the pond. My crazy nephew says not to worry - if we slide into the pond Jesus can walk over there and help us to safety. Ha!! We're probably going to hell...

 

I have a crick in my neck. Does anyone know why it's called a crick? Seriously. Is that just a Texas term or does everyone everywhere call a stiff neck "a crick"? Just wondering...

 

Ah, but not long enough! I need another 5-10 days to make it a really quality long weekend. Ha!

 

So I was telling my SIL about cookin' Thanksgiving dinner for my non-lesbian friend (D) and the twin football coaches. She says, "Aw, that's nice of you. You're just everybody's mama, aren't you?" Ever stick a needle in a balloon? That was kinda how that statement felt. I said, "Well, D and I were thinking more along the lines of Thanksgiving Cougars but you just threw a bucket of cold water on that by slinging the mama word on me." Ha!! Then she poured salt on my wounded ego by laughing right in my ear - as if there's no way I could be a cougar! So I tell D about this conversation, which makes us start talking about the moral line between "cougar" and "pedophile." Where IS that line? Is anything above statutory rape age fair game? Or should there be no more than 10, 15, 20 years difference in ages? I told her I wasn't sure but if one of those cute little ol' coaches ever looks at me sideways I'm gonna jump on him like a duck on a June bug. He won't know what hit him. Ha!! We got tickled because we had a mental picture of the poor little feller being found naked in a ditch cryin' and shiverin'. *giggle* Then we began the reality checks...you know..."don't get your honey where you get your money" and "don't get your meat and bread at the same store." We talk a big line but we'd be just as freaked out as the little fellers...

 

Nellie's owner took her home today. I got a little choked up after they left, but I have a feeling she'll be back as soon as she pees on something. She's a pretty little bulldog but after delivering a few litters of puppies in a puppy mill she has some "issues." Her teeth are awful, even after having six pulled. Her breath will stop a freight train if she doesn't get a weekly brushing. And I think this pissin' thing is a result of too many pregnancies. Maybe a little bit incontinent, I'm not sure. It could also be a result of living in a small utility room for three or four years and going at-will on newspaper. Yech - I can't imagine how those people's house smelled.

 

I had four dogs in my little house this weekend. I had my Timber, Nellie and her cousin Brady (a chocolate lab), and Genny (Timber's girlfriend). The twin coaches were out recruiting, and Genny's people went to Houston for the long weekend. It's amazing how small this house is with that many dogs in it. Luckily the weather was good on all but one day so they spent a lot of time outdoors. I tell ya what, though...last night I was layin' on the couch watchin' a movie and all the dogs were layin' around asleep...incredibly soothing and peaceful. Well, until Nellie attacked Genny again and all hell broke loose.

 

The one good thing about havin' company is that I get the house real clean. I was gonna get a lot of sewing done this weekend but I shot my wad [of energy] cleanin' and cookin' on Thursday.

 

I was chattin' it up with a friend of mine the other day. We talked about how people protect themselves by being reserved and even withdrawing themselves from a potential friendship if they start feeling too close. I think it's a very normal thing. Ya hear about it a lot more with romantic feelings than with friendship feelings but it's nearly the same thing. You know - your heart gets broken so you don't want to lay it out there to get hurt again... It's difficult to put yourself at risk for heartbreak but if you don't ya miss out on all that goodness, too. I'll misquote Shakespeare here, "Tis far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Feelings are complicated anyway so it's usually best not to overthink 'em. If I analyze feelings too much I can talk myself right out of 'em. Ha!! Reality bites, though, and we never know when things can turn to poo. Everyone has ideas of their own, insecurities of their own, that can have an effect on how they relate to other people, situations, etc. Add the unknowns of fate, destiny, bad luck, whatever, and it feels like we're walking on a keg of dynamite all the time. So, enjoy people while you have them for as long as you have them - and let them enjoy you. Okay, I've written this down so I hope that helps me remember it because I'm the world's most insecure person with the world's largest inferiority complex. Ha!! But, for all that, what you see is what you get...

 

Ugh - I'm boring myself. I think I'll leave a slimy trail back to the couch...

I'm beginning my Thanksgiving day in basically the same way I've done every year of my life... Macy's parade is on tv and the smells of holiday cooking are in the air. The only difference is that, when I was a kid, I could lay in bed or on the couch and all this fabulous stuff happened around me - now I'm the one who turned on the parade and began the cooking. I'm not with my family this year (I'll see them next weekend so it's not a depressing thing) but I feel them in every pore on my body. Memories of all of them waft in and out of my senses just like the smell of the pumpkin pie that's in my oven. I may not be with THEM today but they sure are with me...

 

I guess because I'm getting older it's not such a chore to think of things I'm thankful for this year. When we were kids our parents would go around the table asking everyone to name one thing for which we were thankful. "Uhhhhh...I'm thankful I have the day off from school today" or "Maaaaaamaaaaaa, I can't THINK of anything...". Today my mind is flooded with things, all the way from "I'm thankful I have the day off from work today" to "I'm thankful that, right now, everyone in my immediate family is healthy and happy." I've realized that I have a laundry list of things everyday for which I'm thankful, and I acknowledge it instead of taking it so for granted like I did when I was younger. I haven't felt so thankful every year. I totally skipped Thanksgiving a few years after I lost a parent or two. I was still thankful for things those years, I just didn't feel like making a production of it...or anything else for that matter.

 

I have some friends and family who are weighing heavy on my mind today. Stephanie is experiencing her first Thanksgiving as an orphan. Nadine suddenly lost a 4-month old ray of sunshine from her family. My uncle is not well and this is more than likely his last holiday season on earth. My cousin is fighting breast cancer while watching her dad lose his battle with cancer. Jean toughs it out everyday with challenges that would knock most of us on our butts - and she does it with grace and cheer. I'm humbled by all of their struggles and by their strength of spirit.

 

There are so many online friends for whom I'm thankful that I couldn't begin to list them all. Most of you probably aren't even aware of how your posts, IMs, and emails enrich my life and turn a mediocre (or rotten) day into something wonderful (or bearable). My "local" friends are amazing. (Please note I did not say awesome as I have recently been told Americans overuse that word. Ha!) Sometimes I feel very "Steel Magnoliaish" or "YaYa Sisterhoodish" with my friends here in town. They are a source of strength and joy that is immeasurable.

 

So, you get it, right? I am frickin' THANKFUL this year. Ha! I feel so thankful and LUCKY that I'm gonna go buy a lottery ticket tomorrow.

 

I haven't told a Raegin story lately, so here's a good one that happened last week. The twin football coaches, Raegin, my other student worker Jared, and I were goofing off, I mean working, in the office. We were discussing possible cold weather, cars, and other random things. Here's a portion of our conversation:

Me: I need to go see [garage guy] next week to get my truck winterized.

Raegin: WINTERized?

Coach to Raegin: You haven't done that? I bet you haven't even had your headlight fluid checked.

Raegin: Headlight fluid? They have fluid?

Me: Uh, Raegin, stop being silly. Everybody knows THAT. {sarcastic giggle} I bet you haven't even had warm air put in your tires.

Raegin: Noooo, I haven't! Where do you have that stuff done?

Me: Superlube can change your tire air and headlight fluid, but you'll have to go to a garage for new antifreeze in your radiator.

Raegin: Why have I never heard of this?

Me: Your Daddy probably took care of all that stuff for you.

Raegin: Oh, yeah. I bet he did.

Coach: Call Superlube and see if they can do that for you so you won't get caught with weak fluid and no warm tire air if it gets cold this weekend. [Looks up the number for her.]

*ring*

Superlube: Superlube - Hello.

Raegin: Do y'all replace headlight fluid?

Superlube: Do we what?

Raegin: Do y'all replace headlight fluid? Or can you put warm air in tires?

Superlube: *laughing* No, ma'am, we don't do that.

Raegin: {still with phone in hand, turns to us} Did y'all make that up?

Us: laughing hysterically

Superlube: laughing hysterically

Raegin: {As she hangs up the phone} Y'all all SUCK!

 

Enjoy the day, enjoy your friends, family, and/or pet, enjoy a peaceful solitude. Enjoy the fact that you're somewhere with electricity. Happiness is more often found in the little things of life instead of some big gift or event.

 

Okay, I had to take a break to go tell two little boys from next door to stop throwing crap into my tulip tree. Now THEY have something for which to be thankful as I did not kill them...

 

 

A couple of minutes after I signed on this evening, I was tickled to get an IM from my oldest niece in Virginia. We chatted for a minute about nothin' much when the conversation took a turn toward Christmas...

 

Me: So tell me more about [this thing regarding her oldest son].

Niece: Okay. But what did you get the boys for Christmas?

Me: Uh - gift cards.

Niece: Cool. How much?

Me: one each [deliberately being silly]

Niece: Ha. How much on each card?

Me: $25 - Best Buy.

[At this point I began getting suspicious.]

Niece: What did you get [Niece's Husband]?

Me: Hold on. Who is this?

Niece: [Name]

Me: Okay, then, tell me something only [Name] would know.

Niece: [Sister's name misspelled] and I sang Dirty Deeds when we swang.

Me: What song did we choreograph at the apt on Paluxy?

Niece: I don't remember. That was too long ago.

Me: WAIT! You misspelled [Sister's] name! WHO IS THIS???

Niece: It's [Niece's Husband].

 

There followed after that a conversation about how he wouldn't be getting a Christmas present after all because he tried to trick me. Then I get this...

 

Niece: OH my tum tum.

 

Uh-oh. This is something that my oldest great-nephew and I say to each other. When he was three he jumped onto my belly, knocking the wind out of me, and I said "OH, my tum tum!" He thought it was funny and has never forgotten it. Now it's how we tell each other we love the other because it's just ours. He's 13 now, almost 14.

 

It was then I knew. I had not been punked by my niece's husband. I was punked by a 13-year old! DANGIT. The little fart now knows what his Christmas present is. Was. I told him that since he tricked me that he's now getting a HannahMontana cd and a pink tshirt. Ha!

 

This really got off with me. I said this about something else the other day to one of the coaches born & raised in Oregon. "What did you say?" I said, "That got off with me." Coach, "What does THAT mean?" He had never in his life heard that expression. Thankfully, my friend who grew up in the same part of the world as I knew exactly what it meant. So, fyi, to be "got off with" is to be surprisingly aggravated by, completely knocked off your feet/caught off guard, bothered. It has NOTHING to do with getting off. That's a whole 'nother thing.

 

There's been much talk at work lately of woman's ability to use the "dog whistle" form of communication. You know, the other hears what we're saying but we never make a sound. That's dog whistle communication. It seems that my friend and I use this even more than we were aware. We've been friends for years. We've discussed everything that's discussable, and many things that most civilized people don't discuss. So, we are on a certain wavelength. Sometimes we see things that we want to comment on but can't because we're in public, so we communicate nonverbally with a raised eyebrow, maybe two raised eyebrows, head tilt, ironic smile, perhaps even a snark. We're now getting called on it. The menfolk are watching us and seemed quite amazed by our natural ability. It has become somewhat of a contest to catch MizA and MizD in the midst of dog whistling. We've been caught several times in the past coupla weeks. But it doesn't matter because, although we might get caught doing it, the poor things don't have a clue what we were talkin' about...

 

 

Someone quite brilliant sent me the following information. I've had this described to me several times lately by friends, so I hope this will help someone.

 

People & Loved Ones,
 
I'm sending you this to warn you about an incredibly nasty internet virus/bug/scheme that has become more and more widespread.  This is not a foward, not a joke or anything like that - I usually refrain from things like this, but I have seen two attempts at what I describe below in the past 24 hours.  This not something that I usually do and most of you know that my help desk days are way behind me.  So, please take that as an indicator as to how serious I think this is.  I would prefer that if you feel like you need to share this info with other people, then do so after removing everyone else's email addresses or personal references. 
 
If you EVER see a pop up message on your computer that says something about your computer being infected and needing to download/install something along the lines of "Anti Virus 2009" (there are variants Antivirus 2008, XP Antivirus, etc), you need to IMMEDIATELY stop what your doing (removing your hand from your mouse wouldn't be a bad idea, as you don't want to accidentally click anything at this point) and CAREFULLY READ THE MESSAGE.  If you see anything that isn't grammatically or culturally correct (they tend to spell "behavior" like the english "behaviour") or if it just seems fishy, DO NOT CLICK EITHER THE CANCEL OR CLOSE BUTTON.  Clicking EITHER will result in you being taken to a FAKE "virus scan" webpage.  Once you're here, if you try to click anything or even close the window, they will pop up a message box that tells you that you need to download their virus scanning software and only has an OK button.  The only way out of the box is to click the OK button which will install their applicaiton on your computer - DO NOT CLICK THAT BUTTON.
 
If you find yourself at EITHER of these message boxes, AGAIN, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CLICK THE OK BUTTON (or anywhere on the webpage for that matter).  Doing so will install their software which will hijack your computer, then they will try to get you to buy their software to remove it.  Once that happens, someone in a former soviet republic now has your credit card information.
 
If you see something like one of these popups on your screen, you can do one of the following:
Option A
1. Hit CTRL-ALT-DEL on your keyboard and bring up the Task Manager.
2. From Task Manager, Click on the Applications tab.
3. In the task list under applictations, locate Windows Internet Explorer and click it.
4. Click the END TASK button.  You may get another message that says that the application has become unresponsive.  From there you click END TASK.  This should shut down your web browser.
5. If you still have Internet explorer open or think you may have missed something, proceed to Option B.
 
Option B
1. TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.
 
In the past two days, this popup has hit me at work AFTER sending an email from Hotmail.  Today, a person got the same popup on our home computer while browsing FoxNews.  There are reports of it hijacking people when they're veiwing Google, MSN, Yahoo, etc...
 
Again, if you see something like this on your computer DO NOT CLICK ANYWHERE ON THE POPUP MESSAGE.  If you're not that savvy of a computer user, just cycle the power on your computer.
 
If you already have this on your computer, then you're on your own - there's almost nothing you can do to clean it up that doesn't involve hours of time and probably $50-100 on cleaning software.
 
-Very Smart and Amazing Person Related to MizAngie

I agreed to attend another high school football game last night, this time in Mesquite. (You know, home of the Mesquite Rodeo which can be seen on FOX Sports Southwest. Excellent bullriding can be seen there.) Anyway, I knew the temperatures would be dropping as the weatherman showed me a cold front on the weather map - so I wore a thermal shirt and my sweatery, jackety hoodie thing, jeans, and warm socks. [I don't own a real coat. I had one a few years ago when my nephew was living with me. One morning as we were leaving for [me] work and [him] school I see him carrying my coat. "Joe, what're you doin' with my coat?" Joe, "I get extra credit in my science class if I bring a coat for the winter coat drive." Me, "Well, that's MY coat." Joe, "I don't ever see you wearing it." Me, "It's September. It's 90 degrees outside." Joe, "But some poor, cold kid NEEDS a coat." And off he went with my big ol' warm coat over his arm. I sighed and thought what a sucker I am. I thought it again last night as I froze my ass off.]  I probably woulda been fine at the ballgame if the wind hadn't been blowin' a gale. Holy crap! It was a horseshoe stadium and the wind was blowing in from the open end and swirling around the horsehoe so we were gettin' hit comin' and goin'. Wish I'd remember things like, oh, gloves. That woulda helped a bunch. I'm tellin' ya, though...if you've never been to a high school football game, especially in Texas, then you're missin' a slice of Americana that is SO MUCH FUN. Even if you don't have any ties to the school, and even if you don't like football. The bands, the cheerleaders, the comraderie, the spirit, the obvious social implications of cheerleader vs not one or jock vs not a jock, parents living vicarously through their children. I find the whole thing so interesting to watch. It always amazes me, especially in small towns, that the one time racism and prejudice take a backseat is at the Friday night football game. 

 

Just ten days and I'll get a 5-day holiday. I need it. People are getting on my last nerve. It's not ME. Well, sorta. People are definitely being dipshits, but my reaction to them is my problem. Normally I can either laugh off a dumbass, or ignore them as if they don't exist. Lately, though, I want to bite their heads off and shit down their necks. That's not good. It keeps me in an internal tizzy. I need to hibernate for a few days so I can regroup. It's those same weird-ass people that are hanger-onners at the gym this time of year, and I bitch about 'em every stinkin' year. They drive me NUTS.

 

So one of our hanger-onners takes it upon himself to go to my boss's boss to exercise his right as a taxpayer to voice his opinion about stuff. One of his opinions was about cheerleaders and the fact that we seem to have a higher than usual percentage of gay guys on the squad. Well, we have a new cheer coach who is gay. One of those pushy kinds of gays who refuses to stay in the closet for the comfort of homophobes. So cheer coach gets wind that this guy who hangs around the gym a lot complained about gay cheerleaders. He gets it in his mind that I sent the guy to complain about him. Wh..? So MY boss asks me a few questions to get my response, trying to figure out if I did this thing. "What do you think about the number of gay cheerleaders on the squad?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, if I were a macho teenage boy it would probably deter me from becoming a member of the squad, but I certainly don't believe anyone should be denied their right to participate. They need guy cheerleaders for the stunting and those are the guys who tried out. Why?" [A little background. Growing up in small Texas towns, the only guys who were ever cheerleaders were light in their loafers. As a result of my developmental history, I'm always a little suspect of male cheerleaders and drum majors - and guy twirlers might as well wear pink alllll the time. Sadly, it's such a part of my thinking that I don't even classify it as prejudicial thinking, though intellectually I know it technically IS prejudical. I don't think it to be mean-spirited, I just think it.] So then my boss tells me about the hanger-onner. UH! "You really thought I sent that dumbass to the veep?" "Well, no, not really." Me, "WhatEVER. I don't even like to talk to that nut-job." I do and say things that get my own tail in a crack, and I take responsibility for those things - but MAN it pisses me off when I get accused of something I didn't do. So now I'm aggravated at the whole bunch - the hanger-onner, cheer coach, veep - all of 'em. After I found out about all this, I didn't really have anything that I could say to anyone involved. I didn't feel I needed to apologize as I didn't do anything. I didn't want to stoop to telling the troublemaker to eat shit and bark at the moon. I did, however, feel the need to reach out in some way to the cheer coach as I do NOT like people's feelings to be hurt. At the last football game I was walking on the sideline and passed the cheer coach talking to his squad. I reached over and patted his back and kept walking. No email, no blahblahblah, just a simple touch. I'm pretty sure he understood. As for the hanger-onner...pffft...I won't tell him to eat shit. In fact, I won't tell him anything. I'll say only what is required for work duties and after that he can kiss my ass. Good or bad, that's how I roll.

 

Wellll, let me get off this dang computer and get some chores done. It's Saturday, after all. Y'all take care now...

 

 

I worked Saturday since all the men-folk had places they needed to be. I didn't have to DO anything other than just "be there" in case something came up. So I stood around looking like I was an authority on everything athletic and totally in charge. Ha!! I guess it worked since nothing bad happened. Because I covered the gym this weekend my boss told me to take a half-day off today as comp time. Wellll, it was overcast and rainy so sometime around 10:30 this morning I sent this email: "I would like to trade my 'free' half-day for a whole sick day. However, if there are pressing issues with which you need my assistance, just let me know. I feel certain that if I'm needed there could be a rainy Monday morning miracle, allowing me to rise up out of my sick bed (or couch) and drag my weak but dedicated ass to the office to faithfully serve your office needs." His reply: "LOL. Stay home." Nice guy. He probably deserves a medal for all the crap he puts up with from his slightly off-center staff.

 

I now have over 75 white dots on my DLP tv screen. Too many to count. I went to the Samsung website and chatted live with Peter, a customer support guy. I won't say that Peter was a peter, but he sure wasn't much help. After asking the model number and what was happening, he very supportively told me I need service on the tv. Gee, Peter...YA THINK? After reading a bunch of stuff on the troubleshooting part of the website, I've determined that my mirrors are stuck. Now, Peter couldn't tell me how much their service guy would charge to come here, and he couldn't tell me if there is an authorized repairman locally - all he could do was have someone else call me. And then I thanked Peter for his time and assured him that he was zero help in this matter. I definitely felt pandered to by Samsung. Those "chat live" people don't know anymore about this damn tv than I do - maybe less since I've actually researched the problem online. I was relieved last night, though, that the television was not blowing up - literally. There was a commercial on that had a beautiful starlit night sky when all of a sudden a flash of light went flying across the screen. I was positive that the tv was on its last leg...until it dawned on me that what I saw was a shooting star in the commercial's sky. Duh.

 

My house smells reallllly good right now. I had some rotting bananas on the cabinet so I made banana-nut bread. Wow. It's not bad. I cut the sugar in half so it's not as soft as it normally would be, especially since I used 3/4 whole wheat flour and 1/4 regular white flour, but, it's healthier. The guys at work will enjoy it with their morning java. It smells really, really great in here. It smells holiday-ish.

 

The weatherman warned of possible tornadoes tonight. WHAT? In November? Good grief. I had my thermostat set on 65 so the heat would come on every now and then to keep the chill off the house, but tonight I moved it down to about 60 so I could play like it's winter. Ha! I made a pan of Irish oats with cinnamon. Mmmmmm.... I need to go to the grocery store. I'm down to a sack of frozen carrots, a dozen eggs, and not much else. Not even any bread or milk. Ugh. I meant to go this past weekend but I was busy at work and was doing chores when I was home - not to mention some good college football games on tv! Well, there's nobody to blame but myself for being too frickin' lazy to go to the store. I just hope I don't develop scurvy before I drag my lazy ass to W-mart. GAG.

 

I read on a friend's blog that he's already begun thinking of the impending holidays and how they're filled with warm memories that, while beautiful, make him miss loved ones not with him anymore. Yeah...me, too. I know there are many who have a lot harder time than I this time of year (and that's saying a lot). We'll make it. I plan to enjoy the fabulous people currently in my life as a tribute to the ones not here.

 

If I don't kill somebody first. I've noticed an increase in my own road rage and overall impatience with people (like ol' Peter in customer support). Yesterday I went with a group of women to a movie. We saw "The Secret Life of Bees." It was good. It would have been a lot better if the two teenage girls who were there talking (not whispering...talking) through the entire movie had saved their money and stayed home to visit. I came so close to getting up and going to them specifically to tell them to shut up, but...well....they were black, and the underlying themes in the movie about accepting people and race relations intimidated me and kept me in my seat. Seething. And now I'm mad that I let myself be intimidated by race enough to let common decency and consideration for others fly out the damn window. Bad behavior is bad behavior - no matter race, creed, or color. I'm certainly not the behavior po-po nor did I want to start any shit at the movie. And in the ten-screen theater it's a good mile walk back to the manager's station to complain. {sigh} I need to take a chill-pill. Ha!

 

I guess, if the tornadoes don't blow me away, I'll go to work tomorrow. If nothin' else it'll keep me outta the pool hall...

 

 

First, an explanation of the photo album. A month to six weeks ago this very random lily appeared in my backyard. I believe that it blew in on some fairy dust sent on a journey when Mother Nature sneezed, settling in the fertile loam of my otherwise naked backyard. That, or a bird pooped a seed. However it got there, I'm tickled pink. The whole thing just showed up - stem and all - in a day. It blew me away! It's hard to get things to grow in my backyard because of the dog and the fence, and my brown thumb that kills any plant I try to nurture. {sigh}

 

I was also blown away last week when I was told that one of the football players requested that I escort him onto the field on sophomore day. If you've read my blog for any length of time, you may recall the story of the football player who sold his scholarship books to the bookstore (an act equal to a Class C misdemeanor). He was a very large offensive lineman. I made him cry when I chewed his ass. I've become famous around these parts for making Fonda's life flash before his eyes. Here we are, two years later, and when Coach told the guys to select an instructor to escort him, someone who had impacted his stay at our college, Fonda asked for me. Of course I did it. I love that big ol' boy.

 

I'm totally blown away by the reaction we've had around here to the election results. Holy shit. Racial slurs on school buildings, threatening graffiti, people wearing all-black to symbolize our country's death as a result of electing Obama, kids getting sent home from school for chanting "Obama," and many predictions of "the end of the world" as foretold in the Bible. I naively thought that after the election people would move on. I guess I'm an idiot. There are many around me who know how I voted that would agree - even my own peeps. I won't apologize, though, for having a mind of my own. I don't think I'm capable of feeling so strongly about politics, religion, or much of anything else, that it would force me to alienate myself from friends and family I care about just because we have different opinions. NOTHING is worth that. So there are topics I don't discuss with my siblings, nieces, nephews, and some good friends. There are lots of other things to talk about - we don't have to go there. We all have our own life experiences, beliefs, influences that help us form our opinions. If you think about it, it's a pretty fascinating process.

 

I haven't been a Palin fan but I'm beginning to feel a bit sorry for her. The GOP yanked her off the frozen tundra of Alaska to try to save a flailing campaign and now that it's over they're trying to blame her for McCain's loss. I haven't heard McCain blaming her but his election staff seems to be doing so. What a difference a day makes, eh? Maybe if they stir up enough dust around ol' Sarah nobody will turn to point their finger at them. It's a bum deal. Yep - you betcha!

 

The former athletic trainer (who now works in the Phillies organization and, yes, he's getting a World Series ring) is here visiting. He came in yesterday and pointed at me and said, "Whoa, MizAngie...you tryin' t'get a little raise? Woo-ooo" Clueless, I said, "What?" He pointed his finger in a circle toward my chest area, so I looked down and realized the "V" on my v-neck shirt was revealing a pretty good view of my cleavages. "OH!" And as I shifted my shirt I waggled my finger toward his crotch and said, "Wellll, I see I got a little raise after all!" Ha!!

 

My beautiful big-ass tv is acquiring more and more white dots of light on the screen everyday. Anybody know anything about DLPs? I've read that it could be dust on the something, a glitch on my chip, or dying mirrors (also related to the chip). I snagged a can of air from work and will attempt to remove the back of the tv in order to give the thing a blow-job. I'm hoping it's dust. If it's the other two things it will be cheaper to replace the tv than to repair it. Shit. A $1200 tv that's three years old. Granted, I watch it a lot but I was thinking it would last a lot longer than that. $400 a year is rough. If I have to replace it I sure won't get another DLP even though the picture is great. Well, it was. Right now it looks like a planetarium display with constellations across the screen. What's bad is that I can't watch tv without counting the frickin' dots everytime the screen gets dark. I started with two dots a week ago - I'm up to 28 today.

 

We're almost to the weekend. Awesome. I have lotsa chores t'do. A dress to make for Addie, work on a few other projects, household crap. Ugh. I don't want to waste sewing time by doing chores, but won't enjoy sewing until the house is back in order and my chores are complete. I'll have to build a fire in my ass to get it all done.

 

Later...

The pix I posted today are of CeeCee modeling her prototype outfits. Don't blame my niece for sticking shiny pink shoes on the baby with a black & orange outfit. No, no... Miss Priss INSISTED she would wear the pink shoes. She likes 'em. I have no idea where this tiny little girl gets that stubborn streak. {giggle} I had hoped I would get pictures of Addie wearing her prototype dress, but that didn't happen.

 

So we're talkin' about "The Vote" today at work. "You vote yet?" "You voted?" "Who ya votin' for?" "Who do you think's gonna win?" I make the comment that I plan to leave a little early to go vote, timing my arrival at the polling place located in the gymnasium of a local middle school for after the kids are gone but before most people get off work at 5:00 pm. Just about everybody who knows me knows I'm a yellowdog democrat living in a super-conservative republican dominated Bible-belted county/state, making this statement from a coworker particularly galling; "Go ahead. Go cast your vote that won't count anyway." AAAAAAAAGH!!!! Turd. My response, "Yes it does, too, count you piece of shit!" He just giggled in a very superior manner. Piece of shit. Ha!!

 

There were tons of vehicles at the polling place when I got there. Great. I've heard all the talk about the lines and seen the reports on the news, so I figure I'm there for the duration. Visions of standing in line for hours to vote for Carter only to hear the election had already been called for the other guy before my polling place even shut down passed through my mind. So I trudge across the schoolyard to the gym expecting to see hoards of voters. Nuttin'. I was the only voter. Hmmm. I signed in and as I did so one of the election judges decided to take that opportunity to vote, too. Another election worker said kiddingly, "Sorry, sir, you can't vote." The guy got the most bewildered look on his face and said, "It's so sad. Us old white men are members of a dying breed." He said it kiddingly, and we all laughed, but then I said, "Thank goodness! It's about time for somebody else to ride that gravy train." Hahhahaa... The women working there didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so they just shut one eye and farted as they ducked their heads and snickered.

 

If you read my blog you know I kinda struggled last week. But I did okay, and I'm fine. Seriously. Some really cool things happened that reminded me how absolutely blessed I am to have caring people in my life:

 

 

 

 

Thing Four: My bestest friend (aka BFF) hauled me to Dallas to watch her nieces perform in their high school band at the football game (Friday Night Lights). It's pretty dadgum difficult to get bogged down in sorrow in that atmosphere. For those of you who don't know about it, high school football in Texas is quite a spectacle. This is the same friend who bought season tickets to the Dallas Mavericks the year Daddy died and made me get out of the house to go with her. She knew I would otherwise sit at home being depressed. Even tho our seats were so high up in the nosebleed section that we couldn't even hear the basketball bounce, we had a great time. We planned our imaginary weddings and how we would spend huge lottery wins. We spent more time looking through our binoculars and making up stories about the people with courtside seats than we did watching basketball. Anyway, she's an awesome buddy.

 

So life goes on. Still. And as Martha*Stewart would say, "That's a GOOD thing."

Today is the 12th "anniversary" of the day my mother passed away. Anniversary is a bad word as that sounds more like a celebration, which is definitely not what I'm feeling. I am one morbid heifer. I obviously have a hard time letting go. It feels odd to say it gets "easier" as the years go by, as if it could ever be easy to lose someone you love so much - your personal cheerleader, someone whose hugs can change your day/week/month/life, your sounding board, your pal, hell- the person who frickin' gave you life. But, by human nature, it does get "easier." The pain associated with Mother's loss is no longer an open wound but a dull ache that comes and goes - like a toothache except that it is centered in my heart and not my bicuspid. Life kept going; I kept going. I was supposed to. She would be royally pissed if she knew how long it has taken me to get to a place where I don't totally fold everytime I think of how much I miss her. I don't know if it has taken me so long because I'm single and childless so don't have distractions, or if that's just how I roll. It was the natural order, though, and as such inevitable. I just wish it wouldn't play back in my head every year. For instance, yesterday was the day she went into a coma. Today she died. Friday will be her funeral day. The events of those days re-play over and over...the last thing she said, the sound of her breathing, the way she looked... Ugh. There are more gruesome sights and sounds that I won't talk about but they, too, re-play in my mind. Those are the hardest memories - they're the ones I wish I could block out so that only the good stuff would be left. After twelve years I no longer reach for the phone (as I did for a long time after she died) to call to tell her or ask her something, but I still wish she were here to share in stuff that happens NOW. I decided I would write her a letter as if she's just on vacation somewhere...

 

Hey.

I miss you like crazy! You wouldn't beLIEVE what all has happened since you and Daddy have been gone. Pete's at the Pentagon now - how cool is that? I'm amazed at Collyn, your oldest granddaughter. She handles all that moving around like it ain't nuttin'. And just like when she was a kid she manages to get involved in a jillion things, and now she has the boys goin' from pillar to post, too. The boys. Ha! Tres is a male version of Collyn. As a result they argue like you and I, and they're just as close as we are, too. Troy is hilarious. You think he's in his own little world and then he'll say something that lets you know he was very much in the moment. His take on things is way beyond his 8 years. Tres is totally into baseball like his grandaddy. Can you believe your little boy has five grandbabies of his own? Carrie managed to scare the piss out of us with the complications she had with CeeCee, who is beyond amazing. They're both fine now but it was touch and go for awhile. I think CeeCee, more than anyone else ever could, helped me get over not seeing you all the time. Her arrival and her presence made me more aware of life than I had been in a long time. She made me want to shake things off and get on with it. I haven't been that afraid since Joe's head got cracked open when the tree limb fell on him. You would love Joe's little girl! I think her imagination could match your's and she's just two. She may be the most intelligent person in this entire family, and has a very high cute factor. I can just hear you telling her about Krasamafrase but I guarantee you she would have a LOT of input into the story. Jeb's baby boy is as tough as he was, so Billy calls him "Tuffy." He has Jeb's big blue eyes. Alea has become the matriarch in your absence. She and Billy have been married almost as long as you and Daddy were - who'd a thunk it? Ha! She's like you, though, and pretty much ramrods all the familial activities and maintains the cohesiveness. She's as bitchy as you but in a different way. Ha!! Y'all would love Scott (Carrie's hubby) and April (Joe's wife). They "fit in" just like Pete does. Becky has foster kids - how crazy is that? I think she's happier than she's ever been, though, with people she can boss on a daily basis. Hahahha! She's sooo much like Daddy. And me? Pfft. I'm fine. I didn't think I would be for a long time, but I am. I miss your hugs and kisses, but my big brother and sister and sisterinlaw, not to mention my nieces and nephews, make sure I don't suffer from lack of affection. Sometimes it's sooo hard doing the family stuff without you and Daddy, until I realize you're so much on my mind and in my heart that I'm NOT doing family stuff without you. You're with me all the time, even though it's just not as good. I apologize because I haven't been able to do what you told me in your last words. How could you tell me "don't be afraid" and then leave me? And I ain't gonna lie - the way you said it totally creeped me out to the point that I hear it in nightmares. Thanks a lot. Wow, you would be so proud of all of us. Y'all left us such a legacy of love. How lucky we've been to have had y'all, and now to have each other. We fuss, piss, and moan about like we always have but we love and support each other. I can't help but wonder, though, when you're gonna hook me up with a lottery win like you promised? Ha! I'm pretty disappointed about that. Well, I hope y'all are gettin' to visit with a lot of folks. Pet my dogs for me, okay? I love y'all...

-Angie (Your Favorite)

I have been inundated with messages from the nicest people in the world! Mike V. keeps finding me jobs, Chris in NY offered to send me pictures of "himself," and tonight I won 1,500,000 lbs (UK $) in a lottery someone entered on my behalf! How precious can people GET? Not only that, but somebody keeps offering to buy my old, useless gold and they leave messages telling me that on old blog posts. I'm busy RIGHT NOW gathering up valuable pieces of things to send to these complete strangers because I'm sure they're honest and will send me money in the return mail. These are just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more kind offerings that people send me everyday. Unfortunately for these kindly people, I'm a bitch. I don't want the job I have, much less a new one. I don't want to see Chris' pecker-pictures because I'm sure that's what he means by offering to let me see "him." And do people REALLY send their bank acount info just because a random email says they won a lottery in a foreign country? Bizarre. I'm assuming at least one person has done it or "they" wouldn't keep asking me. Ugh.

 

I read an interesting article, though. It talked about how I could look younger and lose weight just by getting plenty of sleep. Combine that with the internet offer saying I can make money while I sleep and I believe that I'm going to ask for a medically-induced coma so I can sleep a coupla years at the end of which I will wake up much younger, thinner, and very rich. That'd be a helluva deal!

 

My niece and I have been plottin' and plannin' this week. She goes to swap meets and flea markets in the Dallas area where she lives. She emailed me a picture of a little pillowcase dress and told me how women were snatchin' and grabbin' 'em up like crazy at about thirty bucks a pop. Unbelievable! These are probably the easiest things in the world to make! Half a yard of fabric and some ribbon and bada-boom bada-bing...you gotta dress! Little girls wear them either as sundresses or with a tshirt underneath. Too cute! So Carrie made a prototype, and I made a prototype, and I'm now waiting on CeeCee and Addie to get their dresses in the mail to try them on to send feedback. I haven't even sold ONE yet but I've talked myself into buying a jim-dandy big-ass computerized embroidery & sewing machine combination. [Whoa - my nipples got hard just thinkin' about that sewing machine.] Come on - I gotta be able to monogram the little dresses! Ha!! I neeeeeeeed that machine!!!!!!! I've coveted them for years. I'll be getting a substantial overtime check in January after working a basketball tournament, so there's my machine right there. I CAN'T WAIT. I also made a pantset for CeeCee that I can't wait to hear back on. I saw this fabric and had to have it - reminds me of the stuff we had back in the late 60s early 70s. Very "mod."

 

I'm proud  that my nieces are so creative and talented. It's one thing to sit down with a pattern and make a project, but my girls (well, women) have enough confidence in their own abilities that they will make a pattern and work out the details to complete the project. I'll take credit for part of that. Summers when they would visit I would sit next to them at the sewing machine to guide their little hands while they made pillows and doll clothes (without patterns) - I helped foster their confidence and creativity. My Mother did the same with me (and them). As an artist she knew the value of encouraging imagination and creativity. She also believed we could do ANYTHING - and some of that rubbed off on us. It's so much fun to see The Girls using what they learned at my knee...

 

Welllll SHOOT. The weatherman just said it's gonna get down to 33 degrees tonight so I guess I better bring my plants in off the porch. Sure seems early to be doin' that. Y'all have a good week.

My Daddy had one sibling - a brother. Uncle G and his family lived in The Valley (the bottom tip of Texas), we lived mostly in East Texas. In my lifetime we never lived closer than a 4-5 hour drive from my uncle's family and that was when I was an infant. For most of the time we lived anywhere from 8-12 hours apart. Combine that with my dad's dislike of leaving home (I had to inherit it from someone, didn't I?) I can count on one hand how many times I've visited my uncle's house. My uncle, on the other hand, made an annual pilgrimage north to visit all us kinfolks who didn't cross our own property lines very often. I can remember being very excited when Uncle G and his family came to visit - he has a daughter my age AND they had the same last name as us. The cousins on my mother's side were more familiar but all had different last names. Those with the same last name somehow seemed "more kin." Uncle G is in his eighties now and has been fighting cancer for a coupla years. He thought he kicked it but it has reared its ugly head in his liver and he's in the middle of another round of bad-ass chemo. He normally weighed around 180-200 at 6' tall; he's down to 140. He is, in all likelihood, dying. My brother and sister-in-law are going to see him this weekend and asked me to go with them. I didn't go. I'm riddled with guilt yet still can't bring myself to go. It used to be my dislike for traveling that kept me from making the journey. Now I can't bear to see him, even when he was healthy, because he looks so much like my Daddy. Everytime I look at the man I see my Daddy and feel immense sorrow. I hug him and I feel my Daddy's body, yet I know it's not my Daddy and I want to cry. And usually do cry. I'm aware that it's beyond selfish, maybe even bordering on irrational, but it is what it is. I miss my Daddy.

 

October is a tough month. It's Mother's "dying month." She died on the 29th and we buried her on Halloween. My son's birth mother died the same week, two years after my mother, and we buried her on Halloween, also. Ironic. Like an idiot I scheduled annual doctor visits for the 30th. I have quite a roster of family members who have had or have cancer. Every year following "the exam" I wait to hear if this is the year I get the cancer-call. Ugh. I have quite a morbid streak multiplied by the worry-gene. I'm sure, in light of how I feel about all this, that my blood pressure will be great on the 30th. Ha!!

 

I got a call this week from my ex-boss's wife. He's the guy I had the grudge against for nearly 13 years. Anyway, she's having some medical issues and needed to use the pool at work for therapy. You know that old saying "what goes around comes around?" I got to see a little of that and it gave me great glee (because I'm such a hateful person). Mr. Big Shot who demoted me to the gym couldn't get his wife into the pool because nobody knows who he is anymore. HA! So who did she call? hmmmph. And not only did I get her access to the pool - I got her some heat and stem treatments in the training room that made her feel much better. HA! I still don't know what this man expects of me. Although I didn't get fired from the college, he definitely fired me from his office after I worked for him nearly 20 years, and he couldn't give me a good reason. Yet  he expects me to treat him as if he did nothing wrong. I forgave him but I don't like him. His wife and daughter keep telling me (when I see them-rarely) that I still love him, and, well, no I don't. I don't hate him anymore, but I certainly don't love him. It wouldn't bother me if I never saw him again as long as either of us lives. He has no control anymore over my emotions and it's a fabulously liberating feeling. It also gave me a tremendous sense of belonging and satisfaction when I escorted the woman to the training room where women's soccer and men's basketball were getting treatments and being taped for practice and was greeted like Norm on "Cheers." A chorus of "MizAngie!" met us at the door and I got lost in a tide of hand-slapping (the cool way-with the snap at the end) and hugs. The woman just stared as if she had entered a foreign land. It was gratifying to me that she could report back to her husband that I am in a good place. I am surrounded by affection. I overcame the hurt her husband inflicted on me with the boot to my ego. AWESOME. Although I'm so "over" what happened, I couldn't stop myself from having a moment in my own mind where I giggled, pointed at the memory of what had happened, and shouted, "YEAH, Kenny - FUCK YOU!"  Niiiiiiice.

 

I was so relieved this week to read Jane's blog about her dog, PepperAnn. From what I read I realized I am not the only indulgent dog owner who doesn't force total domination over my dog. I just let him act like a dog. A very spoiled dog, but still a dog. I used to enjoy watching "The Dog Whisperer" but had to stop because I felt like such a failure with my own dog. I tried to teach Timber to walk on a leash next to my side. We've walked about fifty miles around my backyard. As soon as he tried to leave my side I would do like Cesar and go "SHH" expecting Timber to snap-to and wait alertly for me to indicate what he should do to please me. Instead, Timber stopped - looked at me with tail wagging wildly - and jumped up to kiss me in the mouth. Ugh. What we have hee-ya is a failyuh t'communcate! I also recognize that this is probably the reason I was not blessed (or saddled) with children of my own. Can you imagine how BAD their behavior would be if I can't (or won't) even discipline a dog? Ha!! The one thing that Timber does that I don't much care for is drooling while he watches me eat. Yech. He'll let these long strings of drool hang out the sides of his mouth making himself look as hungry as possible. If I don't look at him he keeps moving closer until some of the drool touches me. It's pretty gross. I read an article this week about feeding your dog organic dog food. I'm callin' bullshit on this one. When Timber stops bringing dead things to the backdoor and lickin' his own ass, then I'll discuss organic food with him. Until then, uh, no. I don't even think it's worth the money to feed myself organic food, much less the dog!

 

Gotta go. My Fightin' Texas Aggies are on tv today and they need all the help they can get. We're rebuilding, you know. {sigh} Y'all have a good weekend!

I'm not sure yet. Well, yeah, technically it is because of the earth's rotation and tilt blah blah blah - but until the temps cool down and stay down it won't really feel like fall. But it rained today and dropped from 80 to 69 and it's awesome. Since it was cool and damp I decided to pretend it was nearing wintertime and I made some Irish oatmeal (steel cut) with cinnamon in it for supper. I had to leave the air conditioner on so it would stay cool enough in here that my fall/winter fantasy would be more realistic. Mmmm.... Tomorrow it's supposed to be even cooler. It's great to be able to walk from the car to the office without melting into the concrete. Ugh.

 

Speaking of Irish (I was, remember?), we have a coupla girls from Ireland on the soccer team. Cute as buttons they are and just about as homesick as you can get. I have to admit it's bound to be a tremendous culture shock for them coming from Ireland to East Texas. Ha!! Anyway, after I tasted the Irn Bru (softdrink from Scotland/UK) and my curiosity was sated, I had several bottles of the stuff left. I made a batch of cookies and wrapped them up for the girls and packed it all up with a coupla bottles of Irn Bru. I gave the goodies to them after last Saturday's game along with a mama-hug. Wow. You woulda thought I gave 'em gold bricks. They passed around the Irn Bru so the other girls could taste, telling them it was a taste from back home. Now everytime I see them I get huge smiles. Oh, HA! Get it? When Irish Eyes Are Smiling...hahahahha...

 

I got two new cds today (ordered from Amazon). "Little Honey" by Lucinda Williams and "Gossip In The Grain" by Ray LaMontagne. FABULOUS!! I'm maxin' and relaxin' - listenin' to my new tunes - listenin' to the rain - watching Philly kick the Dodgers' asses. Life is good. I decided to spare myself the agony of watching the third and final debate. If anything good or different happens it'll be replayed a bazillion times on the news channels and youtubed to death. The other day I was pissin' and moanin' about all the political bullshit when someone asked me if I was gonna vote. Are you kidding? I have people fighting and dying for me right now, and thousands of others willing to do the same, just so I can vote. Damn skippy I'm gonna vote. And I hope everyone else does, too, that are eligible. To not vote because you can't decide on a candidate is a cop-out; kinda like not going to church because you don't like the people. It's so much bigger than that.  Write somebody in - but do participate in the process. It's important. {stepping down off o' soapbox}

 

It was raining today. I'm a little embarrassed to admit but I got about three calls asking me if I was, um, horny. {flustered giggle} I guess quite a few people know a good thunderstorm/rainy day makes me "think about it." Ha!! After the third call I wondered if I had gone to work a little wild-eyed and bushy-tailed. It's gettin' close to deer season - I better watch where I rut. Truthfully, I did kinda feel like I was doing a little antler dance everytime a male came around. Whew. Damn rain. *sigh*

 

Well, I think I'll go t'bed. If I can't do one thing rain makes me think about, I'll do the second best - sleeeeeeep. I can sleep like a rock in a steady rain. Awesome. 'Night, y'all...

 

Went to work, went to a funeral, went home, baked cookies and made sandwiches to take to the friend's house whose son died, went to her house, took some cookies to my little football coach friend, came home. I was expecting my friend and her big-shot husband but they were delayed until tomorrow. I busted my ass all day doing all the things I needed to do so I would be available this evening to entertain them, and then they called right about the time they were to be here and said, "Oh, we haven't left yet. We'll come in the morning." I so bad wanted to say, "Okay. You're the one spinnin' this globe and I'm just here tryin' to hang on" but I didn't. But it's gettin' close... And there's no tellin' what time they'll actually show up. We're supposed to tailgate before our football game tomorrow but everything is up in the air until Their Highnesses get here. Can you tell I'm a little miffed?

 

So I was at my friend's house whose son was buried today. A bunch of us gathered there for supper, visitin', and singin'. Ya hate to say you had fun at such an occasion, but, well, it was fun. There was this woman there who could play a ton of instruments and sing like a bluegrass angel. Her kids did the same. Greatness! I was expecting the call from my other friend who was supposed to be on her way. My pants didn't have pockets so I stuck my phone in my cleavage. It was fine until I got a text message. I was enjoying the music, chatting with a new acquaintance, when all of a sudden this horrible buzzy vibration started between my tits. I was sure a locust or some other huge bug had flown down my shirt and was frantically flappin' his wings to find his way out o' there. I was about halfway outta my shirt when I remembered that my phone was tucked away there. Shit! I felt like a frickin' idiot, and looked like one, too. I MIGHT have yelped a few expletives during my 'fraidy-dance that must have offended my new little prune-faced acquaintance because she "tsk'd" her way to another room. Of course, when I explained to my friends what had happened they all nearly peed their pants.

 

I almost went to sleep at the funeral. The preacher was sooooo boring. I think he was trying to preach salvation but he never actually got to the salvation part. He kept talkin' about needing to prepare ourselves for death but he never went in with the dealmaker info on eternal life and glory land and all that good stuff. And the funeral home had these two big screens that came down outta the ceiling, and began a powerpoint presentation that was supposed to be pictures of the dead guy throughout his life - set to music. Instead we watched some inept computer operator's monitor on the big screen as they tried to figure out how to run the presentation. We listened to "Time In a Bottle" about 40 times, and we watched pix with no music for awhile, but then they finally got it all goin' at once. The guy that died was a motorcycle guy. The members of his "Brotherhood" were supposed to be there as pallbearers but only one showed up. He spoke on behalf of the group. His Brotherhood name is Rowdy. You could look at him and guess how he had earned that nickname. Anyway, I had an elitist moment as I thought "Sheesh" to myself as Rowdy stuttered through the first words of his eulogy. But he relaxed into it and his words, while not the king's English or the best grammar in the world, were heartfelt and it became very moving. He finished with "I'm gonna miss ol' Hawk" and ya just knew he really would.

 

I was tired from all the runnin' around, cookin', and funeralizin' so I left to come home. About 1/2 a mile down this dark-ass country road (lake road) I see my friend's granddaughter stumblin' down the side of the road drunk as Cooter Brown. High heels, short dress, bottle in one hand, cigarette in the other - I stop and ask her if she wants a ride back to the house. No, she wants a ride to her mother's house about an hour away. Uh, okay, but let's go tell your grandmother we're leaving so she won't worry about you. On the way back she tells me HORRID stuff about her younger brother, her life, her boyfriend, blah blah *hic* blah. Drunk cryin' jag. Niiiiiice. She left court-ordered rehab to attend the funeral. The brother got a pass from jail to attend the funeral. It's sad. They're bein' so white-trash and their family is just not like that. Anyway, I got the girl's uncle to help with the hot mess and it was a big ugly scene but we finally got it straightened out...sorta. I at least didn't have to make the 2-hour round trip to her mother's. I felt like I was the bouncer on Jerry Springer. Ugh.

 

And what was on my porch when I FINALLY got home? Irn Bru! I was unable to find this stuff at the stores in Dallas that were supposed to have it so I just ordered some online. Someone should have carried the 12-pack by hand from Scotland as much as they charged for shipping. Holy shit! It was just a few dollars less than the bottles of drink. I'm drinkin' a glass of it now. It tastes like a cross between cream soda and orange drink. The aftertaste is cream soda-ish. And it smells like cream soda. But it's not exactly like cream soda. There's a litte bit different wang to it, and it's clear orange. It's okay - but it sure ain't coke! [Reminder: down here any kind of softdrink is a coke. Want a coke? Yeah, a Dr.Pepper. Or, want a coke? Yeah, get me a 7-Up. If you don't specify, though, you get coca-cola. We don't say softdrink and we don't say pop.]

 

I better hit the hay. I need to get up early and finish bakin' off the cookies for the tailgate party just in case my friends actually show up on time to have it. I rolled the batter into long snakes in wax paper so all I have to do is slice and bake. Y'all have a good Saturday. I have football at 3:00 and futbol at 7:00 so I'll be all jocked out by tomorrow night. Later...

In the AARP newsletter (ugh, I said AARP) there's an article titled "50 Words That Kids Think You Don't Know." It lists words that are now accepted terms, nouns that are now verbs, acronyms widely used, etc.. The changes have come about with the onslaught of technological devices and the slang used online. Here are some of my favorites:

bling: sparkly jewelry

cougar: older woman who dates younger men (Me but only in my own mind)

flirtationship: prolonged flirtation with no physical contact (Me with my online friends)

bromance: close but non-sexual friendship between two guys

peeps: people (My family, my posse)

rock: to manifest greatness (As in I rock, and YOU rock)

ridonkulous: beyond ridiculous (as in some of these words)

The article even listed Britishisms:

nutter: crazy person

snog: to kiss

T5: disorganization, like Terminal Five at Heathrow Airport

The ones I don't like are the acronyms - like BFF, LMFAO, stuff like that. I'll probably end up using them at some point due to peer pressure and because, well, all the cool kids use them.

 

White Boy has realllllly screwed the pooch this time. In exchange for some work benefits he agreed not to do some additional social stuff at school. At the time of our agreement he was committed to four parttime jobs with the possibility of a fifth. My reasoning was that the kid IS a student and he would need some time to study or would be setting himself up for failure. He gratefully agreed. And then, because of a slip of his own tongue, I found out he sneaked around and did the thing he agreed not to do. There's more to this, of course, but that's the general gist of the situation. I'm so put-out with him that I can't even look at him. I'm taking it personally since I'm the one who went out on a limb for him. A person is only as good as his/her word. I have little use for someone I cannot trust.

 

Speaking of trust... I think that's why I'm having a hard time deciding for whom to vote. Enhancing your own accomplishments is one thing, dissing your opponent's accomplishments is one thing - but the key players are "giving evidence" of the other lying and/or cheating and with no way to verify or refute what they say I end up not trusting either. It's frustrating. "Back in the day" we could rely on news reports to give facts about important people and events. Not anymore. Now we get "the slant" on facts. I tried to watch the debate last night so I could make an informed and studied decision. Bullshit. I got loads and loads of bullshit. I turned it to, of all things, Troy vs Florida Atlantic playing football on ESPN. That's like watching paint dry. (I mean no offense to the students and alumni of those schools, but you have to be one of those things to be interested in the outcome.) At least, in football, the antagonists and protagonists are obvious and expected. Not s'much in politics.

 

Cheerleaders and twirlers in East Texas are going NUTS. Ha!! Last week a small town nearby suspended their twirlers because they did a routine to a song that said "I kissed a girl and liked it." Their sponsor told them not to do it so they practiced their routine all week to a different song and did a bold switcharoo at the weekly pep rally. So they're suspended from Friday night football for two weeks. That's, like, OMG, 4-EVER. Surprisingly the parents are supporting the administration's decision on the punishment. The other incident involved a skit performed at a pep rally in Nacogdoches involving the simulated shooting of the opponent. They used cap guns. It had something to do with the mascot name - I don't know, I haven't watched the skit. My first reaction was, "So?" I mean, that's gettin' pretty deep into East Texas where people actually hunt for food and not just sport, kids get hunting guns for Christmas, stuff like that. Owning and shooting guns there is a time-honored tradition and privilege - a way of life. There are probably as many members of the NRA in this area as there are Baptists. (That's saying a lot.) So it didn't strike me as that unusual that shooting the enemy might be used in a skit. Seriously, I didn't think a thing about it. Unfortunately for some there was a handful of "enlightened" students who thought shooting students on campus in a school skit might be in poor taste - especially in light of fairly recent tragedies involving mass killings at colleges and schools. Oh, well yeah, I didn't think of that. I don't know how they got a-hold of it but the story made it to FoxNews. You know, the fair and balanced (or, as my liberal friends like to say, the fairly imbalanced) news channel. So my peeps in East Texas were presented as backwoods, ignorant, redneck hee-haws. Now, if I want to talk about 'em like that, I can, because they're my peeps. But I don't want a bunch o' big-city, semi-educated, judgmental people with superiority complexes making fun of my peeps who work twice as hard everyday to make a small percentage in a year of what the television pundits make in a month. Fuck 'em. It amazes me how some people will swear they don't have a prejudiced bone in their bodies when it comes to race, but they have no qualms at all against making fun of a different lifestyle or slower way of speaking. Whew. Where did THAT come from? Time out - I gotta take a breath...

 

I tell ya one damn thang - if those yahoos don't like the independent nature of my peeps then, well, they can SNOG MY BADONKADONK!!

 

 

 

I had a fabulous time visiting with my peeps, but MAN I was glad to get home! Timber was glad to see me, but not as glad as I was to see him.

 

First, I'll brag... CeeCee had an appointment Friday with her developmental specialist (because she was preemie). She just turned [chronologically] two years old. She tested out at between 33 and 36 months in her intellectual/cognizant development. She hasn't broken 20 pounds yet, but she's a brainiac!! As if I didn't already know that... She's in gymnastics now and learned how to walk like a ballerina (tippy-toed), and then walked all the way down the balance beam, turned around, and walked back - on tippy-toe! Her gymnastics coach's mouth was hanging open!

 

Another brag... Addie doesn't get tested but we all wish she could be. She just turned two, also, but talking to her is like talking to a five year old. Unbelievable vocabulary and speaks very clearly (not like a baby at all!). We want her to get tested so she can blow the top outta the tests. Ha!! She's amazing.

 

Friday, when I got to my niece's house, I went to the bathroom. And freaked out. I sat down on the toilet and thought my ass had grown about three times it's usual size. I stood up and looked and the toilet had CeeCee's little potty seat thingy on top of the regular seat. Whew!

 

I took huge pots of yellow fall mums and big pumpkins to CeeCee's and Addie's mamas. I also took small pie pumpkins for the girls. CeeCee insisted on carrying her's around. It's heavy for her and she kept dropping it. {yikes} It ended up in the bathroom where she left it after a trip there to sit on her little potty. Today, "the cousin" asked what the deal was with a pumpkin in the bathroom. My niece said it was Halloween decoration. I told him it was a "Crap-o-Lantern." Ha!!

 

When I packed my things for the trip, I grabbed a pair of earrings off my dresser to wear Saturday. They perfectly matched the brown jeans and green tshirt I had chosen to wear. Very "fallish." The earrings are so cute. A potter in a nearby artisan community made them - little discs of clay with a bead hanging on it. Simple, but cute. Saturday morning I dug around in my makeup bag looking for the earrings, all I could find was one earring...and a quarter. Ha!! I only THOUGHT I picked up two round earrings.

 

It's back to the salt mines tomorrow after two days off and a weekend away. Gag.

 

Just got an email from my niece. CeeCee asked her where Auntie went. Her mama told her I had to go home. CeeCee said, "Awwww, MAN!!!" It's nice to be missed.

I took off work today and again tomorrow. I did so much today! Cleaned house, did laundry - even did some gardening! *giggle* By gardening I mean I pulled the hard dead sticks that used to be my beautiful basil and tomato plants out of their pots. {sigh}

 

I didn't do all that work because I roll that way. I usually do just enough to keep from contracting typhoid. I did it because some friends are going to stay here this weekend to keep Timber while I go see my peeps in Big D. I haven't seen CeeCee and Addie in awhile and I need a fix...BAD! If it were a guy staying here alone I wouldn't  worry so much about having the house straight, but his lady friend from outta town will be here with him and, well, she might not understand my "bachelor" lifestyle. Ha!! I'm glad they'll be here, though, as I won't worry about Timber like I do when I leave him at someone else's house. This arrangement works well for my friend, too, as he won't have to pay for a motel for two nights. I told him he has to change my sheets before I get home, though. Blech. His 6'9" frame is gonna have a time on my short doublebed. Ha!!

 

So tonight my friend came by to get the house key and instructions for Timber, etc.. I hadn't had supper yet so I fixed us some sausage, eggs, and toast. As we sat there watching the Cubs game, eating supper, he suddenly said, "Hi there, Mr. Salamander." Well, it wasn't a salamander, it was a baby gecko. But still, I thought that was just great to have a critter come crawlin' out when I had company. Ha! I live in an old house - pier and beam, fireplace. I have bugs all the time come crawlin' out of opening. I had a mouse or rat before {shiver} so I have poison under the house for those, and I'll shit a gold brick if a s-n-a-k-e ever finds its way in, but bugs are just bugs. Lizards are just lizards. As I usually do, I just let the little feller crawl across the floor. They usually find their way back outta the house somehow - if not I'll find his dried up little body the next time I sweep. I took a bite of sausage as I watched him crawl and my friend says, "Uh, want me to kill it?" "Naaaaahhhhh." "Even tho it's in your house?" Chewing, I look at him. "Right." Chew. Swallow. He's lookin' at me like I'm crazy. "Dude, they eat flies and mosquitos." "Oh." He's a yankee. Nuf said.

 

I dread the drive tomorrow. Driving does not make me happy. Riding in a car does not make me happy. Staying at home makes me happy. However, being around my nieces and nephews also makes me happy. My nieces and nephews are not at my home, so I have to drive. I'll check in if I can, but I have a feelin' I'll be playin'...

 

 

 

 

I'm too old for this shit...  I hit the road early Saturday morning with a trip to WalMart to buy ingredients for the crap I decided to take to my friend's party Saturday night. Then back home to unload the groceries. Back out to vacuum and wash the truck. Ugh. Neither of these things is my favorite. Came home, fixed the party stuff and packed it into containers. THEN, I laid on the couch and watched my Fightin' Texas Aggies. Ugly as they are this year I still have to watch 'em. Later I went to a football game to watch MY guys (from my workplace college). Aggies won, my guys lost. Whooop and Hisssssss... An assistant coach rode with me to the party - Chuck followed - and more assistant coaches came later after their football duties were done. We had SO MUCH FUN!! We got there around 11:00 and left at 5:30ish this morning. In all that time I only had three beers - none of us got shitfaced. We just sat around talkin', laughin' and sippin'. I got mooned twice, "accidentally brushed up against" a coupla times, had a bare chest then bare ass rubbed on me stripper style, and saw a pole dance done by a 6'9" guy in my honor (and I didn't even have to tip). Not a bad night. Ha!! By the time we all got to the party most of "our kind" had been and gone, or were fixin' to leave. The remaining party-goers were mostly hippies (and all that implies) and realllly drunk people that were taken home or passed out shortly after we got there. The band played until midnight so we didn't get to hear much of them. What I heard was really good. We were visitin' along and I was reallly diggin' the band so I said, "These guys sound JUST LIKE the Eagles!" The friend I was talkin' to looked at me like I'm an idiot (which turned out to be appropriate) and pointed at the stage. The band was packin' their shit and obviously had been for several Eagle songs they were playing through their sound system as they packed. Duh?! Ha!! oops...no wonder... The fire spinner was back this year. That was so cool! It was pitch black out at the lake so you just see these balls of fire spinning around in rhythm - so pretty. There was also a guy who would spit Everclear outta his mouth and light it making a big fireball. And then there were fireworks (on a small scale). VERY good party!! Wish y'all all coulda been there!!! Next year...

 

I got in the bed around 6:00 this mornin' and was up by 9:00. Ugh. I wanted to be asleep but couldn't get there. I'm tryin' my damndest to stay awake this afternoon so I can go to bed early and not screw up my sleeping pattern for tomorrow morning. It's hard enough to wake up early in the first place, much less if I take a nap and then stay up late again. If Timber could have done it I think I woulda been grounded when I got home this morning. He met me at the door and we all know what THAT means when ya get home late late late. Ha!!!

 

Gotta run - the Cowboys & Indians are playin' today...  Thanks for all the support ya'll gave me last week when I had my attack of insecurity. I hope you know I feel the same about y'all.

 

LATER...

 

 

 

I have several blogs that I've read for a long while, maybe a coupla years give or take a few months either way. In my mind, these bloggers are my friends (emphasis on the MY). Just as I have "my turf" at home and at work, I feel that these blogs are "my online turf." If I see new people leaving comments on my online turf I often visit their spaces to read their posts. Well, I did that earlier this week. I read my friend's post, then read the comments prior to posting my own, and then moved in to check out the new girl. Her comment wasn't much - just some inane prattle like ya put on newly visited spaces. I noticed she was pretty (women notice that about each other). So off I go to check 'er out. Lots of pictures of herself...posed pictures. And she's pretty, and her kids are pretty, and she wrote confidently of her doings. And as I looked at her pictures and read about her successes, I heard a cry somewhere deep inside my 51 year old pudgy body. I realized it was me, my cry. It was me at 14 when I tried out for high school cheerleader and lost out to the prettier, more athletic girl. It was me in high school when I had the biggest crush ever on a senior boy who smiled at me like he knew it but didn't give me the time of day. It was me at thirty - in love with someone I couldn't have. (Yeah - don't ask.) This whole thing has me wonderin' when the hell those feelings of inadequacy will go away, and also what on earth is it about this particular woman that triggered such a reaction? It's more than just her looks that triggered it because there are lots of good-lookin' women leaving comments on my friends spaces. I just know that I suddenly felt that my friend would no longer be as interested in hearing from me as they'll be anxiously waiting to see if "she" visits their space again. Any wit or humor that may have meant something to my friend before would mean nothing anymore compared to the bright light "she" casts. Intellectually I know that my feelings have nothing to do with my friend or the new person commenting - this is all inside me, cultivated by years of rejection and feelings of inferiority that I thought were mostly in the past. I think, how on earth can someone like me who is so confident and content on one hand be reduced to that snivelin' little 14 year old again? Shit. It's disturbing. This has been buggin' me for a coupla days now. I guess time will tell if I'm right or not. But I tell ya what, if I could figure out how to knock that heifer right off this internet I'd do it today. Ha!!

 

I posted pix of my soccer teams. I like watching the guys play, but I watch the girls play to be polite and supportive. Well, that and their coach is incredibly h-o-t. For some reason Chuck didn't get any shots of the coach. Haha!!

 

This oughta be a fun weekend. Football on Saturday night, big-ass party afterwards at the lake. Good times...

 

Y'all excuse my whinin', okay? I'll do better next time.